Sometimes you have to break the rules...

And this time I am so so glad I did!!

Now, let me get one thing straight. In general, I am a rule follower. In general.

But there are some times where breaking the rules matters.

In this first case, I was on my way home from India last week, when I got stuck in Dubai in their historic flooding. Which meant by the time I got home, I had spent 65 hours (!!) in airports and airplanes! And that was with breaking the rules!

I say that because after five hours in line (I cannot even go into the Lord-of-the-Flies type chaos that the airport had broken into. Let’s just say all systems had collapsed.) and being told by an agent adamantly that we could not get out for three more full days, we started to plan our exit from the airport but all roads had been blocked since we arrived.

We finally had a lead on an airport hotel we could possibly reach but the daily flight to Seattle was supposed to be leaving in an hour and a half.

And no matter what the agent had told us, quite rudely I will add, I was desperate to get my elderly mother and daughter home. So it’s a long story how but while standing in yet another line, I saw what I would call a “courtesy agent” floating around. I call her that because she didn’t have any ability to issue new tickets but looked to be answering questions. And someone in line told me she was extremely nice and they offered to hold my place in line so I could go speak to her.

I went to her and while I explained that I needed to get home to care for my disabled child and get my family home, I started crying. I didn’t mean to but by this point, we were all unraveling. I pleaded with her to check the flight to Seattle and see if there were any open seats.

The rule was to stand in line and find out this info but I was short on time and I was desperate.

To which she very quickly checked an app on her phone and said, “Oh, there are a 100 seats open on that flight.”

100 seats? How could that be possible? Then I really started crying. We had spent the last 48 hours in the airport and had been told defiantly that not only could we not get to Seattle, we could not get to any city in the US. So this info seemed impossible.

What ensued was nothing short of a reality TV show race to get new boarding passes and to the gate on time. Long story short, we made that flight and got home in an efficient 65 hours 😉 instead of what we had been told.

Running to this gate and seeing the flight still there was a sight for my sore eyes!

But this only happened because I did not play by the rules and accept what the agent had told us. The situation was so chaotic in the airport that I had believed him. It seemed plausible that all flights could be full because of all the cancelled flights.

But thankfully, I didn’t listen to him. Thankfully, I tried again. Or we would have spent another 72 hours there before getting home. Sometimes the rules we are given aren’t completely true.

And the truth is although I respect rules, this is not nearly the first time I have needed to make my own.

In my book, Joy Is My Justice, I talk about another time where I made my own rules. I made my own ground rules for Joy. To find Joy, you often have to disrupt the limiting rules you have been given and create your own.

I needed to break down the beliefs and rules I was given by my family, my culture and my own ingrained fixed thoughts to understand that Joy was still in my reach even after receiving a fatal diagnosis for my young son.

And thankfully, I did. Because I created a new story that is much bigger than the small one of suffering I was given.

And I am on a mission to show you that Joy is a human right we all have access to, no matter what. That’s why I created bimonthly Joy workshops to bring my book to life and show you how to create your path to Joy.

Last month, we went over the difference between Joy and happiness and how to find your Deeper Why to finding Joy so that your practice becomes more cemented in your brain and heart. You can find that replay here.

I did that one for the entire community. From May onwards, it will be available to paid members of the community who want to commit to this practice of finding more Joy in their lives.

Joy is not a contrived platitude. It is a way to come alive and be present to all of your life, including your pain. May 4th, we will have our second workshop and we will break down how to create your own ground rules for Joy and why breaking some rules you may have been given matters!

Join us, it’s a way to bring the book alive and to share with you intimately how I have created Joy in my life and for my patients. We will work on the exact touchstones that have guided my work in mental health for the last 25 years. (I will send the zoom link out next week!) You can update your subscription to the community if you’re interested in joining.

And if not, I am so grateful you are here in this community. The weekly posts will and comment threads will remain available to all of you. Every Friday, we work on how to hold both the beautiful and brutal in life, and thrive.

Sending all of you love and hopes for smoother travels for you wherever you are off to next!