Trusting myself is a path to Joy

And this is my go-to step on the way

It may sound simple but my day is always better when another driver kindly waves me into a merge. There’s something so generous about this very basic act of kindness. And especially in Seattle where I kid you not, the driving is quite unkind and a bit scary. (That’s a different story for a different time!)

Kindness breeds more kindness, there’s no doubt. And yet, it takes energy and commitment to be kind to others.

An opened door
A warm smile
A helping hand from a stranger
All the seemingly small things that add up to a day with more ease.

I think there’s something bigger going on here. These compassionate and kind acts breed trust. If you expect kindness, it’s a very different approach to the day. I know that if I go out, others will see me and care for me. I can trust that we care for and about each other.

And that’s also why acts of self-compassion are so very important. It’s not just about feeling better. It’s about trusting myself more.

Consistent self-compassion reminds me that I can trust I will care for myself, no matter what.

If I mess up and make a mistake,
If I say the wrong thing to my child,
If I fail at a new habit or project…

And I know that I will find a way to speak to myself that is compassionate, acknowledging my common humanity (that we all fail, slip up and make mistakes) and giving myself care for a hard moment…

Then I can trust myself to admit those failures and mistakes.

Then I can trust there is a soft place to land.

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-compassion lately in preparation for some keynotes I am giving this fall. I’ve been thinking about its secret superpower to help us feel safe by stimulating the pathways of connection and care through our vagus nerve and parasympathetic nervous system. I’ve been thinking about its capacity to create more Joy.

But this idea of it breeding trust is really sitting with me. If compassion can help me trust others, why wouldn’t I also work to use it to help trust myself?

I have been taking extra minutes lately to extend this compassion to myself. Putting a finger or hand on my heart, acknowledging a difficult moment or thought, and if I am able changing the speak in my mind. And even if not, caring for myself through the difficulty of hearing what I am saying to myself. Like a loved one would do for me.

I want to have compassion for others. But I even more, want to be the most loving person I know for myself. I want to trust I will be there for myself. Like a good friend.

As a side note, I will be speaking on self-compassion as a critical step for mental health, at a virtual conference on Motherhood and Mental Health October 11th for

Motherhood Minute

and would love to have you join us for a day of learning and growing. The link is here for tickets.

How do you use self-compassion in your life or does it feel like a challenge? (For all our paid subscribers, how did you use it on our September walking challenge?) Do you intentionally use self-compassion when you are trying something new? I would love, as always, to hear from you and support each other.