I may not know the answer to the world's brutal uncertainty.
But I do know one comforting way to meet it, each and every day.
It’s a familiar feeling, the touch of the carpet grazing the undersides of my feet as I rise from bed. It reminds me to have a moment of gratitude that I am in fact, waking up and here. For another day.
I amble downstairs, usually in silence since no one else has woken up. That’s how I like it. Just me, in that still part of the morning air where anything is possible and I haven’t filled that space yet with the workings of my mind.
I go turn on the kettle for hot water. And although the noise of the water heating up is a bit startling to my still not fully present senses, it reminds me that something comforting is coming my way.
If I can hold to the promise I have made myself, I will await that comfort either sitting in silence or reading a good old fashioned book. And when the screens creep into the space I have created for the trust in myself, I try to give myself compassion for the ways I am human and cannot control every impulse I have.
That is the basic flow of my morning.
Before I meet the day.
Before it races to meet me.
Before the veil between my slumber and the waking world create a knowing that there is work to do.
And that morning flow does not EVER dissolve all of the abundant chaos of the world.
But it DOES remind me that there is certainty even amidst an uncertain world.
If I am fortunate enough to wake up, I touch these moments as reminders that I am okay and safe, for at least those tender minutes of touch, sound, sight and smell. I am okay right then. And I have something to return to when I need it.
You see, certainty was never a promised space in this world. We can never predict or know exactly what comes our way. And then there are times when the world seems even more uncertain than usual. This feels like one of those. Injustice, terrifying violence, division, climate anxiety, and then anxiety in general at epidemic heights. All of it feels like too much sometimes.
And I wish I had an answer aside from being present to it all. (that is, in fact, one of the answers, albeit a very hard directive!)
But there is not only nourishing comfort in our daily rituals, there is neuroscience to support why it matters.
You have seen it in sports perhaps. Elite athletes swearing by a certain way they start a game or get read for a dive. You may call it superstition, but the science shows that it decreases anxiety and offers a small amount of predictability before an unpredictable event.
Ritual brings you right into your body, anchoring you right here, now. Think about it. It’s why a funeral or wedding can be so heart opening. You watch the ceremony or coming together of community and know that there is a sacred event in process.
I think of each micro-ritual in the same way. It gives my body a soft place to land when the world feels too hard. To assure me even if the world is not okay, I am okay, for that moment.
Never underestimate a small act of bringing yourself back to your center. Maybe for you it’s an evening touchstone or a daily walk or chat with a loved one. And maybe you have micro-rituals but don’t even realize it!
The neuroscience supports that if you name and recognize the act as a ritual, it has more power. It makes sense to me. The more intention you put into something, the more meaningful it can be. It’s a similar metaphor when I do preparation sessions with someone for a psychedelic journey and have them hone in on their intention for the experience. How you “set” yourself up for something matters.
I don’t think of this as a mindset exercise but rather a “body-” or “spirit-” set exercise. Truly. Because the more you can ground into a ritual each day, the more present your body is to that day. The less you are trying to escape it.
Remember that the way you come back to yourself is an act of trust in yourself and ultimately in the world. If you trust yourself to have touchstones that can keep you grounded, you will trust yourself more and more through vast uncertainty.
Micro-rituals are a way to practice trust.
So call out that cup of coffee or walk around the neighborhood with your dog, or whatever brings you a micro-moment of joy and peace in the day. Touch it each and every day, especially the harder the day is. And not only use it as a touchstone, call it out as a way to trust your day and yourself. Even if life is not okay, you are okay, right here, right now.
And if you’re interested, I did a podcast episode with my dear friend and Ayurvedic healer, Dr. Avanti Kumar Singh on rituals and more ways to meet the overwhelm of the world. You can listen to that here on a walk or a reflective moment this weekend.
I would love to hear what your micro-rituals are in your day. One of my other ones has been a promise to myself to walk 8000 steps a day. (and I am going to tell you that I don’t get to it every day and when I don’t, I can feel the difference!) It’s not about exercise but keeping myself moving so that what I feel in my heart and body moves as well. It’s about being in nature each day so that I know there is a bigger world than the narrow one I see often, the one of chaos and inhumane actions.
Rituals are ways to come home, to yourself and they remind me of one of my favorite song lyrics, “May the four winds blow you safely home.” That’s what I wish for you today.
What’s your micro-ritual you either already do or are now going to start? When we say it out loud, we feel more accountable to ourselves, not in a shameful way, but in a way that makes us want to honor our words. I would love to meet you in the comments and build community around the ways you bring yourself home…
Thank you for this moving post today. The world often feels frightening to me, and knowing that I can create a little bit of order in my own little space with my husband and dog helps me to feel a little safer. Each morning we sit together with the dog between us, my husband with his coffee and me with my tea. Sometimes we sit in silence, other times we share what we'll be doing in the day. Either way, just being together stroking the dog and feeling our love helps my heart to lighten up and feel warmer at the same time. I deeply value this time together as we start the day.
Thank you for another great post that makes me think and reflect, as usual. 💖
My two cats are an essential part of me having some rituals. I noticed how they were "ritual-driven" beings, and they truly help me daily as my rituals are linked to theirs. They know that when I wake up, we'll have a joyful treats distribution, for exemple. 😉
And it's like that with some other things during the day.
Also when I tend to dissociate, they are the best to help me stay grounded.
Otherwise, taking my medications is another thing that is part of my rituals.
And on a more "comforting" note, I just started to prepare a tea bottle in the morning, to help me drink more during the day, so that is something that I like as well. 🙂