Tanmeet, you raise very interesting questions and deeply thoughtful issues. When I asked myself, why do I believe I belong here, I immediately replied, I’ve lived nowhere else; I’ve briefly visited other countries as a tourist, but have no experience of living in any of them and establishing connections there. Then I asked myself, what is at the core of a sense of belonging? My immediate answer is, values—a shared sense of values, those bedrock beliefs we actually live by, make decisions based on, emotionally respond to with passion.
I responded to the Supreme Court’s recent majority decisions with deep anger and rejection; their values are so widely different from mine; their very act of deciding things that are outside their job description is a travesty of basic trust, they are not interpreting our Constitution (their job) but are rewriting it (not their job) to their own political liking—really not their job! To my mind, they have made themselves illegitimate and carried out a coup against our government. To my mind, they do not belong. So, now what? As I see it, ally myself with those who share my values and are willing to work together to reestablish them—to fight for them.
I most likely have gotten way off the question you brought up to consider, but here I am, sitting squarely in the middle of it. Thank you.
Portia, thanks for this share. It is so complex right? I am not even trying to spark a political debate here but rather, to understand what it means to feel like we belong. Although I agree with your anger. Yes, I agree with you, it's about coming back to your core values, whatever those are for anyone. I have tried hard to understand the 'other side' so I can understand what my values better as well. And I'm with you, sometimes sitting in questions expands the discussion in beautiful ways. I am grateful for your share.
Tanmeet, what I feel passionate about are honesty, integrity, and working for the common good. Without those, for me, actions and words are meaningless and empty. I haven’t felt a true sense of Belonging my entire life, since my mother smothered me at age three and I realized I was on my own. Feeling on my own and discussing belonging is an interesting intersection, I’ll say that!
Oh, but what I set out to say is that, for me, values and politics are facets of the same core. Our values are expressed in political alignment and action; our politics are the expression of our core values. To me, these are inseparable. In an integrated self, it’s all one.
The US is not the country of my birth. I CHOSE this country and am a citizen. I am sometimes embarrassed and mortified by what I see and hear, and certainly by what I have seen and heard in the last month. This country has lost its joy.
Hi Diana, I empathize with you. I can't deny what you're saying. Holding hope that we find ways to all feel a sense of belonging and come to some common ground in that belonging.
Hi Tanmeet, I felt your dis-ease and sense of othering in my bones. I, too, have had my sense of belonging chiseled away over the years (and our future prospects are very sobering). I wonder if you have done any work with the Othering & Belonging Institute at Cal Berkeley (https://belonging.berkeley.edu/). Like you, they prescribe belonging as the solution to the problem of othering and work across multiple sectors including climate, democracy, disability, arts/culture, economic inequality, food systems, housing, health, Islamophobia, race, LGBTQ+ community, policing, and other issues. I feel that you and their director, john a. powell, would have much to discuss and dream about together. They host a conference in the first quarter of every year in the Bay Area. It would be wonderful if you could come and speak (I would also love to be able to see you as Iʻm sure all your Bay Area community would). You probably already know about them but I thought I would share the resource just in case you donʻt. Thereʻs the personal level of nurturing belonging and then thereʻs the building of belonging that goes beyond the individual and into the systems-level. They do great work at the systems-level, which also helps heal on the personal level, I find. Another thing I find valuable in their work is their bridge building between seemingly disconnected and opposed communities/groups.
As I search for a greater sense of belonging beyond my family (who are not like-minded or like-hearted) and learn ways to create meaning for myself in various connections and relationships with people and the natural world, I will hold you in my heart. My connection to you has helped me so much in my healing journey and my ability to learn to love myself. Thank you and may you receive all my love and connection as well.
Stephanie, I am receiving your love and connection! I like you feel belonging in community circles like this and am so ever grateful for that. And this Institute sounds amazing! I can't believe I haven't heard of them. Would love love to get connected to them so I will look it up. And if I come to the Bay Area, you will hear about it! I am trying to get there in the fall for book salons so I will let you know!
As always Thank You Tanmeet for being genuine. I appreciate your openness. Your words touch my own and give me a safe place to reflect. I wish I could adopt you and make you my daughter so that I could have you always in my life. Thank you. I needed your words. I will go out and live my day full of compassion for all of us crazy humans. "Let freedom ring."
Up here, north of your border, my heartstrings are being sorely stretched as I witness my sisters and brothers in the US have to navigate these recent decisions, each one worst than the last. Tanmeet, I think you likely echo what is in the hearts of many when you feel like you don't belong, as if your tether has been cut and you are drifting. May you be well as you navigate these challenges❤
Beautiful reflection!! I have felt most “American” when I’m away from America. There are ways I belong here that are harder to feel when I’m immersed in the challenges of being here.
Dan thank you for this insight. It sounds like you are more aware of your belonging here when you are in another unfamiliar environment which makes so much sense to me. I find when I travel outside the country I come back to myself, to knowing how I feel at home.
Tanmeet, you raise very interesting questions and deeply thoughtful issues. When I asked myself, why do I believe I belong here, I immediately replied, I’ve lived nowhere else; I’ve briefly visited other countries as a tourist, but have no experience of living in any of them and establishing connections there. Then I asked myself, what is at the core of a sense of belonging? My immediate answer is, values—a shared sense of values, those bedrock beliefs we actually live by, make decisions based on, emotionally respond to with passion.
I responded to the Supreme Court’s recent majority decisions with deep anger and rejection; their values are so widely different from mine; their very act of deciding things that are outside their job description is a travesty of basic trust, they are not interpreting our Constitution (their job) but are rewriting it (not their job) to their own political liking—really not their job! To my mind, they have made themselves illegitimate and carried out a coup against our government. To my mind, they do not belong. So, now what? As I see it, ally myself with those who share my values and are willing to work together to reestablish them—to fight for them.
I most likely have gotten way off the question you brought up to consider, but here I am, sitting squarely in the middle of it. Thank you.
Portia, thanks for this share. It is so complex right? I am not even trying to spark a political debate here but rather, to understand what it means to feel like we belong. Although I agree with your anger. Yes, I agree with you, it's about coming back to your core values, whatever those are for anyone. I have tried hard to understand the 'other side' so I can understand what my values better as well. And I'm with you, sometimes sitting in questions expands the discussion in beautiful ways. I am grateful for your share.
Tanmeet, what I feel passionate about are honesty, integrity, and working for the common good. Without those, for me, actions and words are meaningless and empty. I haven’t felt a true sense of Belonging my entire life, since my mother smothered me at age three and I realized I was on my own. Feeling on my own and discussing belonging is an interesting intersection, I’ll say that!
Oh, but what I set out to say is that, for me, values and politics are facets of the same core. Our values are expressed in political alignment and action; our politics are the expression of our core values. To me, these are inseparable. In an integrated self, it’s all one.
Couldn't agree more.
The US is not the country of my birth. I CHOSE this country and am a citizen. I am sometimes embarrassed and mortified by what I see and hear, and certainly by what I have seen and heard in the last month. This country has lost its joy.
Hi Diana, I empathize with you. I can't deny what you're saying. Holding hope that we find ways to all feel a sense of belonging and come to some common ground in that belonging.
Hi Tanmeet, I felt your dis-ease and sense of othering in my bones. I, too, have had my sense of belonging chiseled away over the years (and our future prospects are very sobering). I wonder if you have done any work with the Othering & Belonging Institute at Cal Berkeley (https://belonging.berkeley.edu/). Like you, they prescribe belonging as the solution to the problem of othering and work across multiple sectors including climate, democracy, disability, arts/culture, economic inequality, food systems, housing, health, Islamophobia, race, LGBTQ+ community, policing, and other issues. I feel that you and their director, john a. powell, would have much to discuss and dream about together. They host a conference in the first quarter of every year in the Bay Area. It would be wonderful if you could come and speak (I would also love to be able to see you as Iʻm sure all your Bay Area community would). You probably already know about them but I thought I would share the resource just in case you donʻt. Thereʻs the personal level of nurturing belonging and then thereʻs the building of belonging that goes beyond the individual and into the systems-level. They do great work at the systems-level, which also helps heal on the personal level, I find. Another thing I find valuable in their work is their bridge building between seemingly disconnected and opposed communities/groups.
As I search for a greater sense of belonging beyond my family (who are not like-minded or like-hearted) and learn ways to create meaning for myself in various connections and relationships with people and the natural world, I will hold you in my heart. My connection to you has helped me so much in my healing journey and my ability to learn to love myself. Thank you and may you receive all my love and connection as well.
Stephanie, I am receiving your love and connection! I like you feel belonging in community circles like this and am so ever grateful for that. And this Institute sounds amazing! I can't believe I haven't heard of them. Would love love to get connected to them so I will look it up. And if I come to the Bay Area, you will hear about it! I am trying to get there in the fall for book salons so I will let you know!
As always Thank You Tanmeet for being genuine. I appreciate your openness. Your words touch my own and give me a safe place to reflect. I wish I could adopt you and make you my daughter so that I could have you always in my life. Thank you. I needed your words. I will go out and live my day full of compassion for all of us crazy humans. "Let freedom ring."
Awwww Catherine, so kind of you. Grateful we are connected! ❤️
Up here, north of your border, my heartstrings are being sorely stretched as I witness my sisters and brothers in the US have to navigate these recent decisions, each one worst than the last. Tanmeet, I think you likely echo what is in the hearts of many when you feel like you don't belong, as if your tether has been cut and you are drifting. May you be well as you navigate these challenges❤
Thank you for the solidarity Donna! ❤️
Beautiful reflection!! I have felt most “American” when I’m away from America. There are ways I belong here that are harder to feel when I’m immersed in the challenges of being here.
Dan thank you for this insight. It sounds like you are more aware of your belonging here when you are in another unfamiliar environment which makes so much sense to me. I find when I travel outside the country I come back to myself, to knowing how I feel at home.