Yes, totally resonated me. I always feel like I could do more or better. Realizing it’s okay to acknowledge that I could do more or better but I don’t have to. I can do what I need to do for me too!
I guess I need to go through the following words at least once every week and keep telling myself that....it'll be okay :).
'Maybe resting is not only allowing yourself to accept yourself as enough. Maybe it’s also accepting that you get to say I am doing less than enough and that’s ok too.
Maybe that’s even when it really counts as rest. Not that you are so depleted or exhausted by life that you must take a break.
But that you take a break just because you’re human and you choose to take one.'
I love this. Somedays I feel that there are not enough hours in the day to get done, everything I need to do. And to fit any 'rest time' in means that I could/should have been doing something more productive instead. So acknowledging that I am human, and it's ok to do less, and taking some time to rest (without being totally exhausted) is ok too! Thank you for sharing!
This was so great to read. I found equanimity in this post. For the last few months, I have been secretly enjoying not doing as much or better than I have in the past and also feeling a bit guilty that I haven’t been “contributing” to world “good” as much and failing my self appointed role of being “a good girl”. I don’t know where it will lead, it’s a mystery. I do find myself dreaming of so many things I can do- and also finding that some of those dreams can be fulfilled in my heart and imgaination without ever touching the earth. What a gift it has been to read this post and the replies. Thank you.
I love this Lorie, that you can in your imagination what you do not necessarily need to do elsewhere. I will ponder this. I’ve just finished a series of posts on the imagination, and your comment adds another wonderful thread to this topic. Thank you.
Thanks Lorie. I wrote an unintended series on the imagination. My last post about an aspect of that topic goes up on Friday the other two are my next most recent posts. I didn't realize I was doing it, until I did!
Hi Tanmeet, I hear you. Your article opens many threads of thought that I pursue with mentees.
Toplines or this would be a much larger discussion. First YAY for creating space and reflecting.
You're trying to make choices, but from your article you see things in a binary more or less, off or on. May I offer that life is a tapestry of MANY threads. You choose the threads and the picture-pattern you want to follow. Obviously, you can deviate from the picture (vision and goals) and have your own strategy (how you weave), because this is how we each exert our personal agency.
The key point here is that every day, you can choose which threads to pull, weave and in each moment of the day, which thread you want to focus on...aligning your actions, with the most valuable thread = values-priorities.
So yes, you could do more with one thread or the whole tapestry. You pause weaving to rest your spirit, you can choose to focus on one area of the tapestry or on one or two threads in one minute or a whole day. It's all up to you and your choices. A value-led life means aligning actions to values that make sense to you. When the actions are pulled away from these values, hooked by stories/baggage/other peoples expectations we can get derailed.
Doing less of something expected by someone else may not be bad, if you compare that to doing less of something that you hold as greater/higher importance as a 'value'.
Mindfulness comes into play when you have numerous threads and limited awake-time! ;-) Being present to focus on 1 thread at a time, means you dedicate valuable time to things that matter...that are Worth-your-while.
Hope that's useful - Emotional Agility (Susan David) and Squiggly career (Helen Tupper, Sarah Ellis) both have chapters on values, goals and meaningful approach. As you're aware I don't focus on my mentoring business here but DM me if you want to discuss more.
I have a lot of anxiety around getting things done and appearing busy. I have not been the primary money earner in our house for many years. I’ve done a lot of unpaid emotional and domestic labor (aka raised kids and created and cared for the many spaces we’ve called home). Despite the harm I believe such thinking causes, I struggle with a worth tied to production and money. As my children have grown and left home, my life has shifted. I have several jobs all of which I enjoy. I have a wonderful friend group. And I make conscious choices to take care of myself and rest. My hope is that if I keep practicing the self caretaking and continue to notice when the unhelpful and harmful feelings of not enough show up, I will begin to feel more ease around how I spend my time. Thank you Tanmeet for your encouragement.
There is so much wrapped up for us in this productivity pressure, thank you so much for sharing. I am not sure when or where we internalized that caring for family and home is not productive. That's late-stage capitalism for you. I love how you are keeping awareness of the feelings and continuing to move through them. Thank you so much for sharing all of this, it was so tender for me.
I’m glad it sparked something. Yes, late stage capitalism and various other things, as you say, there is so much wrapped up in it. Thank you again. Your words are always helpful:)
I have done the absolute most for a year and have not recovered almost two years later. Doing the not-most is my favorite thing these days. I'm doing poorly in a lot of ways, but allowing myself to do less is not one of them!
Love this post.
Thanks Nabiha! It was literally a take-two moment for me, "Yeah, why do I have to even think I have done all I can do??" Did it resonate for you too?
Yes, totally resonated me. I always feel like I could do more or better. Realizing it’s okay to acknowledge that I could do more or better but I don’t have to. I can do what I need to do for me too!
Yes exactly!!!
Great post! I struggle with such thoughts a lot.
I guess I need to go through the following words at least once every week and keep telling myself that....it'll be okay :).
'Maybe resting is not only allowing yourself to accept yourself as enough. Maybe it’s also accepting that you get to say I am doing less than enough and that’s ok too.
Maybe that’s even when it really counts as rest. Not that you are so depleted or exhausted by life that you must take a break.
But that you take a break just because you’re human and you choose to take one.'
You and me both my friend! 😊
I love this. Somedays I feel that there are not enough hours in the day to get done, everything I need to do. And to fit any 'rest time' in means that I could/should have been doing something more productive instead. So acknowledging that I am human, and it's ok to do less, and taking some time to rest (without being totally exhausted) is ok too! Thank you for sharing!
Yes and even if you could fit in more, do you have to?
This was so great to read. I found equanimity in this post. For the last few months, I have been secretly enjoying not doing as much or better than I have in the past and also feeling a bit guilty that I haven’t been “contributing” to world “good” as much and failing my self appointed role of being “a good girl”. I don’t know where it will lead, it’s a mystery. I do find myself dreaming of so many things I can do- and also finding that some of those dreams can be fulfilled in my heart and imgaination without ever touching the earth. What a gift it has been to read this post and the replies. Thank you.
Love this Lorie. "...some of these dreams can be fulfilled in my heart and imagination without ever touching the earth." ❤️
I love this Lorie, that you can in your imagination what you do not necessarily need to do elsewhere. I will ponder this. I’ve just finished a series of posts on the imagination, and your comment adds another wonderful thread to this topic. Thank you.
Thank you Emily. Your posts on imagination sounds really interesting- I would like to read them.
Thanks Lorie. I wrote an unintended series on the imagination. My last post about an aspect of that topic goes up on Friday the other two are my next most recent posts. I didn't realize I was doing it, until I did!
Here's the first one - https://econway.substack.com/p/ketchup-bottles-mini-vans-and-interbeing
Can't wait to check these out! Going on my saved reads for a soft Substack Sunday!
I would love to know what you think! Here’s to Substack Sunday!
Ooo- I’m excited to read them!!
Hi Tanmeet, I hear you. Your article opens many threads of thought that I pursue with mentees.
Toplines or this would be a much larger discussion. First YAY for creating space and reflecting.
You're trying to make choices, but from your article you see things in a binary more or less, off or on. May I offer that life is a tapestry of MANY threads. You choose the threads and the picture-pattern you want to follow. Obviously, you can deviate from the picture (vision and goals) and have your own strategy (how you weave), because this is how we each exert our personal agency.
The key point here is that every day, you can choose which threads to pull, weave and in each moment of the day, which thread you want to focus on...aligning your actions, with the most valuable thread = values-priorities.
So yes, you could do more with one thread or the whole tapestry. You pause weaving to rest your spirit, you can choose to focus on one area of the tapestry or on one or two threads in one minute or a whole day. It's all up to you and your choices. A value-led life means aligning actions to values that make sense to you. When the actions are pulled away from these values, hooked by stories/baggage/other peoples expectations we can get derailed.
Doing less of something expected by someone else may not be bad, if you compare that to doing less of something that you hold as greater/higher importance as a 'value'.
Mindfulness comes into play when you have numerous threads and limited awake-time! ;-) Being present to focus on 1 thread at a time, means you dedicate valuable time to things that matter...that are Worth-your-while.
Hope that's useful - Emotional Agility (Susan David) and Squiggly career (Helen Tupper, Sarah Ellis) both have chapters on values, goals and meaningful approach. As you're aware I don't focus on my mentoring business here but DM me if you want to discuss more.
❤️❤️❤️
I have a lot of anxiety around getting things done and appearing busy. I have not been the primary money earner in our house for many years. I’ve done a lot of unpaid emotional and domestic labor (aka raised kids and created and cared for the many spaces we’ve called home). Despite the harm I believe such thinking causes, I struggle with a worth tied to production and money. As my children have grown and left home, my life has shifted. I have several jobs all of which I enjoy. I have a wonderful friend group. And I make conscious choices to take care of myself and rest. My hope is that if I keep practicing the self caretaking and continue to notice when the unhelpful and harmful feelings of not enough show up, I will begin to feel more ease around how I spend my time. Thank you Tanmeet for your encouragement.
There is so much wrapped up for us in this productivity pressure, thank you so much for sharing. I am not sure when or where we internalized that caring for family and home is not productive. That's late-stage capitalism for you. I love how you are keeping awareness of the feelings and continuing to move through them. Thank you so much for sharing all of this, it was so tender for me.
I’m glad it sparked something. Yes, late stage capitalism and various other things, as you say, there is so much wrapped up in it. Thank you again. Your words are always helpful:)
I have done the absolute most for a year and have not recovered almost two years later. Doing the not-most is my favorite thing these days. I'm doing poorly in a lot of ways, but allowing myself to do less is not one of them!
“Doing the not-most…” is one of new favorite things to say!!!
"“What if you could do more or better and you’re not?”
Wait a second, I thought I was supposed to use my self-compassion and accept where I am. This felt a bit off.
But she went on.
“What if you could do more and you choose not to? What then?”
It was a reframe that stopped me in my tracks.
Silence.
And I thought she had misspoke.
She went on: “And what if that is also okay?”"
I absolutely love this. Leans into the idea of non-doing and its power. So glad you shared this with everyone!
Thank you, I’m so glad it resonated! And always honored that you and other readers hold this work dear.