Thank you for sharing yet another powerful post that makes me think and reflect about my own life, the challenges I'm facing and the Joyful moments I might be missing out on. I think it's so important to take some time and reflect, and as you said, to realign when we feel like we aren't where we want to be (even though that's in no way an easy task).
It's difficult for me to point out exactly which moment I am racing to, but when I check within myself, I realize that I'm often struggling with anxious thoughts that I'm doing everything I can to push aside. So instead of being in the present moment, I'm escaping. Not fully enjoying time spent in nature, feeling the sun on my skin, or moments of happiness and love with my cats, or even some peaceful moments when I have the opportunity to relax, but instead I'm usually immersing myself in anything (videos, podcasts, tv) to help me escape my anxious thoughts...
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this article, and sharing your challenges with us. This is so appreciated. The picture of the Temple is breathtaking, and the picture of you, your daughter and your mother is so beautiful! 💖
I wish you some wonderful and Joyful moments for the remaining of your stay in India. 💫🙏❤️
Good morning 🥰 my dear friend. I am so happy to hear that you are Indian and spending time with your Mom and daughter. Creating beautiful memories..it is a gift. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel the pull to be doing something else, being somewhere else, tending to other needs, hearing another call. When I tell myself there is not enough time for all of it, I admit it makes me sad. I am only and yet wonderfully human. Finding a healthy balance is my goal; a journey I have been on for many years. It will never be perfect; there will always be life’s moments that pull me in another direction. I am getting better at my personal realignment, better at giving myself permission to say “no, not today. Maybe not tomorrow either.” And at the end of the day, this is okay. 🤗
Tanmeet, Glad to hear you are enjoying your time in india. And also appreciate you taking time to write about being human. This was eye opening for me. Ironically, my word for 2024 is present. However, I think I have been missing it.
I believe my "To Do" lists are helpful. But what's not helpful is spending time thinking about what I need to be doing, what I should be doing, what I could be doing - instead of actually being present in the activity or the moment at hand. Thank you for another beautiful reminder. ❤️
I hear you, Tanmeet! The most powerful mindset shift for me was when I took a mindfulness course in 2015 and repeated it in 2018. As caregiving became more strained, fraught, and complex in 2018, I realised how time had become my most expensive asset. In 2017, when I resigned from work, I wanted to be more mindful about how I spent my time, contrary to when I was working.
Mindful meditation has become part of my regular self-care mix. I say regular because I think it's impossible for any caregiver to strictly adhere to a specific time/day when our time is not ours. Giving ourselves the grace to do our best is all we can do ;-)
Seeing as I was/ am thinking about this post, perhaps writing here is a moment of following that moments offering. it’s after midnight as I’ve tossed and turned and gotten up and down from bed with a chronic, ‘not life threatening but debilitating gut symptoms. I used to think being present was a state of mind to achieve especially when I was suffering. That I had to ‘not distract my self’. But as I was making some peppermint tea, Neil Young’s’ “Only love can break your heart” pooped in my head. So I got my phone and lay in the dark listening and bawling my heart out. The fact there was music so beautiful in that painful experience was exactly the joy and pain I think you speak about. His lyrics talk about being a kid and fully in a world of play. Which is funny isn’t it- how kids can be completely absorbed in a game of dragons and castles - but that’s not a kind of not present.
It’s ironic I realise - what you’re saying is so true- being with what is can
Only be done now. That feeling of pushing away what’s showing up in order to get to a space I don’t want to push away, ironic!
But Also the judgment we have on what moments we should want to savour can feel a burden. A psychologist asked me once if I could define ‘worthwhile’…. We concurred how sometimes it’s in the joy of doing or being absorbed in something and other times it’s more the after effect or even result. I digress . Also- we could be on the fanciest place in the world but if we feel off or not that well- it doesn’t seem to matter to our bodies right!
But, nights like these, definitely bringing in my future health story and upcoming concerns, make this much more frightening. The fear and anticipation can take over - and I would say, tonight became overwhelming with thoughts of ‘how will I cope with these symptoms if I get the hip surgery and cannot move…’ and yet knowing that this too shall pass is helpful right- perhaps allowed me to be like “I need distraction because I am getting more and more distressed’…
But I do hope you were able to really enjoy the food and all of it!
So much truth in here and so much of our humanity. What is “worthwhile” is such an interesting question and being present surely has many truths. We can distract ourselves and still be present to that anxiety that made us want to escape, if that makes sense. Thanks for sharing all of this with us!
Thank you for sharing yet another powerful post that makes me think and reflect about my own life, the challenges I'm facing and the Joyful moments I might be missing out on. I think it's so important to take some time and reflect, and as you said, to realign when we feel like we aren't where we want to be (even though that's in no way an easy task).
It's difficult for me to point out exactly which moment I am racing to, but when I check within myself, I realize that I'm often struggling with anxious thoughts that I'm doing everything I can to push aside. So instead of being in the present moment, I'm escaping. Not fully enjoying time spent in nature, feeling the sun on my skin, or moments of happiness and love with my cats, or even some peaceful moments when I have the opportunity to relax, but instead I'm usually immersing myself in anything (videos, podcasts, tv) to help me escape my anxious thoughts...
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this article, and sharing your challenges with us. This is so appreciated. The picture of the Temple is breathtaking, and the picture of you, your daughter and your mother is so beautiful! 💖
I wish you some wonderful and Joyful moments for the remaining of your stay in India. 💫🙏❤️
What a beautiful share Sarah. I think you are managing so much here of what it means to be human. Really resonated with me.
Good morning 🥰 my dear friend. I am so happy to hear that you are Indian and spending time with your Mom and daughter. Creating beautiful memories..it is a gift. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel the pull to be doing something else, being somewhere else, tending to other needs, hearing another call. When I tell myself there is not enough time for all of it, I admit it makes me sad. I am only and yet wonderfully human. Finding a healthy balance is my goal; a journey I have been on for many years. It will never be perfect; there will always be life’s moments that pull me in another direction. I am getting better at my personal realignment, better at giving myself permission to say “no, not today. Maybe not tomorrow either.” And at the end of the day, this is okay. 🤗
Love this example of grace.
Tanmeet, Glad to hear you are enjoying your time in india. And also appreciate you taking time to write about being human. This was eye opening for me. Ironically, my word for 2024 is present. However, I think I have been missing it.
I believe my "To Do" lists are helpful. But what's not helpful is spending time thinking about what I need to be doing, what I should be doing, what I could be doing - instead of actually being present in the activity or the moment at hand. Thank you for another beautiful reminder. ❤️
Rick I’m glad it resonated. I think being “present” also means being present to our own awareness as you are doing here. ❤️
I hear you, Tanmeet! The most powerful mindset shift for me was when I took a mindfulness course in 2015 and repeated it in 2018. As caregiving became more strained, fraught, and complex in 2018, I realised how time had become my most expensive asset. In 2017, when I resigned from work, I wanted to be more mindful about how I spent my time, contrary to when I was working.
Mindful meditation has become part of my regular self-care mix. I say regular because I think it's impossible for any caregiver to strictly adhere to a specific time/day when our time is not ours. Giving ourselves the grace to do our best is all we can do ;-)
Here's an article I wrote about 'Managing the mental load' https://www.carermentor.com/p/resources-managing-the-mental-load?r=a9y7d&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Giving ourselves grace is certainly always our best work.
Hi Tanmeeth,
Seeing as I was/ am thinking about this post, perhaps writing here is a moment of following that moments offering. it’s after midnight as I’ve tossed and turned and gotten up and down from bed with a chronic, ‘not life threatening but debilitating gut symptoms. I used to think being present was a state of mind to achieve especially when I was suffering. That I had to ‘not distract my self’. But as I was making some peppermint tea, Neil Young’s’ “Only love can break your heart” pooped in my head. So I got my phone and lay in the dark listening and bawling my heart out. The fact there was music so beautiful in that painful experience was exactly the joy and pain I think you speak about. His lyrics talk about being a kid and fully in a world of play. Which is funny isn’t it- how kids can be completely absorbed in a game of dragons and castles - but that’s not a kind of not present.
It’s ironic I realise - what you’re saying is so true- being with what is can
Only be done now. That feeling of pushing away what’s showing up in order to get to a space I don’t want to push away, ironic!
But Also the judgment we have on what moments we should want to savour can feel a burden. A psychologist asked me once if I could define ‘worthwhile’…. We concurred how sometimes it’s in the joy of doing or being absorbed in something and other times it’s more the after effect or even result. I digress . Also- we could be on the fanciest place in the world but if we feel off or not that well- it doesn’t seem to matter to our bodies right!
But, nights like these, definitely bringing in my future health story and upcoming concerns, make this much more frightening. The fear and anticipation can take over - and I would say, tonight became overwhelming with thoughts of ‘how will I cope with these symptoms if I get the hip surgery and cannot move…’ and yet knowing that this too shall pass is helpful right- perhaps allowed me to be like “I need distraction because I am getting more and more distressed’…
But I do hope you were able to really enjoy the food and all of it!
Ngā mihi Nui
Michaela
So much truth in here and so much of our humanity. What is “worthwhile” is such an interesting question and being present surely has many truths. We can distract ourselves and still be present to that anxiety that made us want to escape, if that makes sense. Thanks for sharing all of this with us!
Oops sorry for the long tangent- I just did really appreciate your post - it’s a perfect thing to sit with really especially in the light of day!
I pray that God continues to make miracles and that He does one for you. Have fun!