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Bev Kummerling's avatar

Yes, we have to return to our 3 year old selves who incessantly ask, why? I am learning this from my Grandson.

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Tanmeet Sethi, MD's avatar

Exactly!

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Celeste Lynette Lee's avatar

Why? A great reminder and a way to go deeper.

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Tanmeet Sethi, MD's avatar

So simple right?

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Donna McArthur's avatar

This is great Tanmeet, thanks. Gaining clarity on our deeper why is, as you say, what will keep us going on those dark mornings. I knew I needed to do this when I was getting ready to stop drinking alcohol. I loved having a glass of wine but knew it was turning me into my lower self. That craving and addiction was a powerful force that I could only overcome by getting super clear on why I was going to move on without it.

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Tanmeet Sethi, MD's avatar

That is a HUGE success of a deeper why, congrats Donna!

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thank you!

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Tanmeet Sethi, MD's avatar

Thank YOU for sharing.

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Jean A's avatar

Good for you Donna for figuring out your Why and championing over the habit you didn't want! So happy for you :) I can relate. My struggle is with my late night reading habit on the computer. It feels comfortable and I slip into it and pay for it the next day. I lose nice morning awake time by having to sleep in. I get disappointed in myself and do not feel my best. I've tried to use will power to stop reading but I think I need to just not put myself into the position of having to use will power. After movie time with my husband in the evening, or before the movie, just turn off my computer. I will make it a habit of going straight to bed after the movie. I have looked at the deeper Why, and know that I desire the change of habit so my brain and rest of body get the best cleansing during the optimal 10 pm to 2 am designated time period for cleansing.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Jean, thank you for your kind words.

Willpower is a very tricky one, especially at the end of the day when our guard is down (chocolate mousse at midnight, anyone?) and it's especially tricky for a strong neural pathway and doing something we love - in my case a glass or three of wine and in your case reading. It's very hard to overcome that. I found I had to replace my habit with something else I enjoyed. My fitness 'helper' (I can't really call her a trainer because that makes me sound way more athletic than I am🤣) says that habits are changed in the transition times of our day, in your case between the movie watching and going to bed. Apparently that's the time to create a shift.

Lovely to meet you here!

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Jean A's avatar

Hi Donna,

Lovely to meet you here too! Thanks for the encouragement. After I shared about my late night computer scrolling habit I actually feel stronger in my ability to turn off the computer before movie time. That eliminates having to use willpower.

My ND says the clicking and reading over and over is providing dopamine. I call it “falling into the vortex and not being able to climb out”. I agree, late night is not a time to rely on being able to resist doing something I love.

Thanks for the info on transition times being best to change habits. Makes a lot of sense.

I am enjoying reading your Substack :)

Jean

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Tanmeet Sethi, MD's avatar

Loved reading through this thread and feeling your mutual support! You two are doing such good work!

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Thank you so much Jean💕

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Tanmeet Sethi, MD's avatar

Loved reading through this thread and feeling your mutual support! You two are doing such good work!

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Jean A's avatar

I am looking forward to the online meeting this Sat. 20th of Sept. Tanmeet. This time I will really try to make it. It will be a fun experience to share with the group :)

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Tanmeet Sethi, MD's avatar

Love that you will be there!

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Rachel Nielson's avatar

I loved hearing you talk about this today to my group! You are incredible, and thank you so much for being there!

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Tanmeet Sethi, MD's avatar

It was an honor to bei n your community!

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